Quotes of the mounth!

Now notice that instead of putting quote(s) per usu. I put up quotes and instead of week its month. Well that because I have been a bit too lazy/busy to put them up for about the past month. So I spent all night finding these, gathering quotes from all across the globe just for you. I hope you enjoy them, but seeing how long I have been up doing this I could care less what you think.

First off...(oh yeah I'm counting)

AGM: A leopard doesn't change it's spots, my friends, well unless you retcon them.

(It's funny because: RETON: The common situation in fiction where a new story "reveals" things about events in previous stories, usually leaving the "facts" the same (thus preserving continuity) while completely changing their interpretation. For example, Darth Vader was retconned into Luke Skywalker's father in "The Empire Strikes Back".)


Second we have...

DM: Every fight is a food fight when you’re a cannibal.


Third we have...

DM: I think the worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades...or a game of fake heart attack.

(yes its the same guy as the second quote)


Forth is...

DC: Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.


Fifth is the very funny...

EB: I have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I go out, I only lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.

(It's funny because: When the person picking the locks goes down the line of six locks only three are locked, so when he thinks he unlocked six he really only unlocked three and locked the rest )


Sixth, I love this quote and just had to share it...

SG: I just broke up with someone and the last thing she said to me was
"You'll never find anyone like me again!"
I'm thinking, "I should hope not! If I don't want you, why would I want someone like you."

(It's funny because: When girls/ sometimes guys if they're sort of bitchy say something like that when their boyfriend/ girlfriend breaks up with them)


Seventh I have for you a very nice...

GM: From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend to read it.

(It's funny because: He didn't read the book!!!)


Eight is one of my fav...

AF: How could something as big as Atlantis just sink?

JS: I'm sure the passengers on the Titanic were asking themselves the same thing.

(It's funny because: It's said that the lost city of Atlantis sank, as did the Titanic.)


Ninth we have...

JS: Wait a second, are these things even close to a transporter?

RM: Uh... yes. Elizabeth's is.

JS: And mine?

RM: It's a brisk walk away.

JS: And by "brisk" you mean "far"?

RM: [nods] And by "walk" I mean "run".


Like five times how many quotes I usually put up...

RG: If I lived back in the Wild West days, instead of carrying a gun in my holster, I'd carry a soldering iron. That way, if some smart-aleck cowboy said something like "Hey, look. He's carrying a soldering iron!" and started laughing, and everybody else started laughing, I could just say, "That's right, it's a soldering iron. The soldering iron of justice." Then everybody would get real quiet and ashamed, because they made fun of the soldering iron of justice, and I could probably hit them up for a free drink.


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Thats all I can give you I hope it's enough to make you all laugh at least once. I do however have to stop because if i go to bed now i will be able to get about 4-5 hours of sleep before i have to get up tomaro.

-i would like to point out that i do not own these quotes, i am simply shareing them with the world/ like 5 people.