Quote(s) of the week 32.

Hello. This is that thing that I do once a week. Uh it's really funny and everybody comments on it all the time. Every one loves it and it's, like, goofy? Well anyways before I kill a brain cell, here you go with my quote thingies.


You know the number that looks like a lower case L or almost an I. It's sort of a line...

T: [Picks up phone] Hello.----Brian?----No, no he's the weird-o down stairs.----Oh sorry Brian, yeah yeah yeah come up.----Bye. Brian's coming up.

(Why it's funny: Brian called him, but he thought he was calling for Brian. So mean.)


Um, it's like a curvy thing, like a loop but longer sort of like a d, sort of...

D: You don't like him.

T: I do like him, I just think he's a bit pretentious.

B: [Walks in] How'd I look?

T: Bit pretentious.

D: Think you look lovely Brian.

B: Do you think I should lose the wise coat?

T: I think you should burn it 'cause you know if you lose it, you might find it again.

(Why it's funny: When he said "...I should lose the wise coat?" he meant just take it off.)


It's sort of like a backwards E, but curvier more stream line...

ME: Téléphone a la fenêtre

P: Your going to call the window?

(Why it's funny: In french class we had to say what the person was doing in the picture. My picture was a girl calling her family. Téléphone a la famille, is what I should have said. Fenêtre means window.)


How to describe this one. Uh, it's almost like a backwards P with no top...

D: Your scared of them aren't you? (Dogs.)

T: No.

D: Yes you are.

T: Alright I had a miner phobia when I was a kid.

D: How miner?

T: I had to have counseling.

D: Really, sorry.

T: She said I had "Cynophobia", I was seven years old I thought "Great now I'm frightened of bamboo as well."

D: How many times did you go?

T: Three or four. It started to work you know, I remember she said to me, "You've got about as much chance of being struck by lightning as you have as being bit by a dog."

D: What's the problem?

T: Well, I was leaving the practice one day feeling really sort of well adjusted and happy, and this f***ing gray Alsatian came haring down the road towards me. Jaws slung with bloody slather, eyes lit by the fires of Hades, it leaped into the air and I remember thinking, "This is it. You know I'm seven years old and this is the end." Fortunately, lady luck was smiling at me that day.

D: What happened?

T: I got struck by lightning.

D: WHAT!?!

T: Yeah. It hurt, but it scared the shit out of the dog so.

D: So now your scared of dogs and lighting?

T: And bamboo.

(Why it's funny: It's just such a strange story, I loved it, and I knew you would too.)