QUOTES OF THE WEEK 30! NOW WITH 100% LESS ()'s!

OK my fellow blogmates, at least the ones that missed me, I have returned! I know as your reading this you are yelling at your computer screen "Where have you been? I missed you soooo much!" Now you will never believe this, but I got lost. I know, I know, but have you ever tried to find your computer when it's right next to you playing a new song you just found? Well I have, and let me tell you it's no easy task.

Now because I now how little laughter you have had in your life in the months I have been gone, I will give you as many quotes as I can think of, you know off the top of my head. Well before I forget any here you go.


Number one...

D: You were born in Highgate to John and Julia Bisley on the 17th September 1974.

T: Right.

D: You've got a little sister called Katie, who once used all your Batman comics to decorate her cardboard car. Unable to salvage the comics you drove the car into the pond, hitting your head on the concrete fountain. Which is where you got your scar. Erm, you've got a best friend called Mike, who's a weapons expert.

T: Er, yeah.

D: You have a potentially deadly allergy to Brazil nuts.

T: Yes, I have no memory of Christmas 1979. Mind you I have no memory of Christmas 1994 either.

D: Oh. Why not?

T: Dunno.

(Why it's funny: Because he didn't remember he would not have known why he couldn't remember.)


Number two...

T: You are scared of mice and spiders. But oh so much greater is your fear that one day the two species will crossbreed to form an all-powerful race of mice-spiders who will immobilise human beings in giant webs in order to steal cheese.

(Why it's funny: I often lay awake at night thinking of this horrid crossbreed.)


Number three...

T: You think I'm unemotional don't you? I can be emotional! Jesus, I cried like a child at the end of Terminator 2!

(Why it's funny: Terminator 2 isn't much of a tear-jerker.)


Number four...

S: None of us have ever done anything like this before, apart from Mike who, as we all know, once stole a tank and tried to invade Paris

M: [Turns around] Hello.

(Why it's funny: They were trying to rescue their friend's dog and a security guard saw them and asked them what was going on.)


Number five...

R: Staying here because she has to is fine, but staying here because she wants to! That's just sick!

(Why it's funny: Well that's just silly.)


Number six...

T: I think we should lose the axe.

M: I like the axe.

T: I like my face.

M: I like your face.

T: Let's keep the axe.

(Why it's funny: 'T' Just entered a robot wars competition with his robot "Private Iron" and 'M' was helping modify the weapons.)


Number seven...

D: How's lurch?

N: Uh, he's in the cooler.

D: 'D you say cool off?

N: No I didn't say anything actually.

D: Shame.

N: There was a bit earlier on that you missed, when uh I distracted him with the cuddly monkey, then I said, "Play times over!" and then hit him with the peace lily.

N: Haha, your off the f***ing chain!

(Why it's funny: They were cops and they were storming a little shop to stop a murderous gang. It was from a movie "Hot Fuzz", it was funny, you'd like it.)


Number eight...

L: Oh chief before I forget, your son is kira. Sorry.

[The Chief growls at him]

M: Ha! I totally called it.

L: Yeah well I'm basing this assumption on absolutely nothing, so we're going to have to keep him around a little wile longer 'till we have, uh, you know that stuff that you uh...

M: Oh evidence!

L: Yeah that stuff!

C: This is ridiculous! How can you be suspicious of my son when 'M' has already been caught leaking information?

M: Now Chief I already said I was sorry about that.

L: Yeah Chief, give the kid a break.

[The Chief growls at everyone in the room]

(Why it's funny: "Kira" is the nickname given to a dangerous serial killer that this team was put together in order to find.)


Well that's all I can remember for now my home slices, but I think I might remember more next week.
;)
Catch ya on the flip side!

PEACE!